Yesterday I proved to myself that I definitely did not miss my calling by failing to become a spy.
Mr. Scrummy and I had decided to keep our return to Perth a secret and surprise our Australian family. Despite a few subtle attempts from Mr. Scrummy’s mum to find out when we might pop by, the weekend arrived and we still hadn’t made the leap. Early on Saturday morning I shuffled into the kitchen, still fighting jet lag, flipped through a magazine at the table, and then there was a loud knock. I glanced up and saw Mr. Scrummy’s brother’s car in the driveway.
Wide awake in an instant, we leapt into action and, in a panic, began grabbing anything that looked like evidence of being home: laptops, chargers, handbags, coats. We flung ourselves into the bedroom and hid behind the door just as his brother let himself into his mother’s house.
I’d like to say he checked, decided no one was home, and left—unfortunately that’s not what happened. He went through the mail, chatted to the cat, mumbled to himself, rummaged in the shed, came back in, went out again. For an hour and a quarter we squeezed behind the door in silence, willing him not to come down our hall. It was freezing—Aussie winter and all—and I, uncannily, had no socks on, so my feet were rapidly feeling the cold.
I briefly imagined having to explain to my sister-in-law that her brother had keeling over from shock after spotting two pajama-clad intruders. Thankfully it didn’t come to that.
For the rest of the morning and into the afternoon we behaved like a pair of giddy ten-year-olds. Giddy ten-year-olds pretending to be spies. Another near-miss came when Mr. Scrummy’s brother left a message saying his son would be dropping by soon. We bolted out of the house—no time for showers after our late morning 10k walk/jog—and drove to the safety of a pub, where we consoled ourselves with potato wedges and sweet chili sauce. Later we retreated to a coffee shop and learned from his mum that my sister-in-law might be shopping nearby. We sat with our coffees, peeking nervously over menus and pretending not to be suspicious (well, mostly pretending).
When we finally sprung the surprise, the family was genuinely delighted. Truthfully, Mr. Scrummy and I had the most fun. If you wondered why I didn’t reply to messages yesterday, now you know—busy with our undercover operation. If anyone ever needs a private investigator, you probably already know who not to call.
If you’re still with me, it’s time to talk about a tasty, healthy salad I made after nearly 24 hours of airline food and a few days of snacking at odd hours. I wanted something simple, fresh and satisfying: crunchy raw broccoli florets, juicy apple, sharp cheddar, smoky bacon, salted peanuts and a hint of raw onion. The dressing is creamy but light—Greek yoghurt with a touch of mayonnaise, mustard and honey to balance everything out.
I ate a bowl on its own and it was utterly satisfying. It also works well as a side for roast chicken, quiche or fish, and makes a great packed lunch or make-ahead dish for a buffet. If you soak the apple pieces in lemon juice first they won’t brown and the salad keeps nicely in the fridge for a couple of days. Add the peanuts right before serving if you want to preserve their crunch. Next time I might stir in a handful of raisins for extra sweet fruitiness.
We have another relative to surprise this afternoon—Mr. Scrummy’s sister—so hopefully no more crouching behind doors!
Are you a fan of surprises? How would you feel if you discovered someone hiding in your house without your knowledge? A little creepy, I’d imagine, but it made for a memorable visit in our case.
Broccoli, bacon & apple salad
Ingredients
For the salad
- 6 rashers of bacon, sliced into small pieces
- a little oil for cooking the bacon
- 2 small to medium heads of broccoli, thoroughly washed
- 1 apple
- 1 lemon
- 1 small onion, chopped finely
- 3.5 ounces strong cheddar cheese, grated
- about 2 handfuls of salted peanuts
- optional: 1 handful raisins
- freshly ground black pepper
For the dressing
- 3/4 cup Greek yoghurt
- 1 1/2 tablespoons mayonnaise
- 2 teaspoons mustard
- 1 tablespoon honey
Instructions
- Fry the bacon in a little oil until cooked through (and crispy if you prefer). Set aside to drain.
- Trim the woody end of the broccoli stalk, finely chop the remaining stalk, and separate the heads into small florets. Place the florets and chopped stalk into a large bowl.
- Slice the apple (no need to peel) into small pieces and squeeze the lemon juice over it to prevent browning. Add the apple and any remaining lemon juice to the bowl with the broccoli.
- Add the chopped onion, grated cheddar and peanuts to the bowl.
- Mix all dressing ingredients together in a medium bowl, then pour over the salad. Season with freshly ground black pepper and toss well to combine.
Notes
You can substitute grapes for the apple and pecans or walnuts for the peanuts if you prefer.
Nutrition
Calories: 468 kcal, Carbohydrates: 38 g, Protein: 24 g, Fat: 27 g, Saturated Fat: 10 g, Cholesterol: 52 mg, Sodium: 554 mg, Potassium: 1176 mg, Fiber: 10 g, Sugar: 17 g, Vitamin A: 2190 IU, Vitamin C: 289.6 mg, Calcium: 387 mg, Iron: 2.8 mg
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